Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
