NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As shirtless as possible
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
