Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
