I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
