...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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