when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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