I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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