So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
