Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
