No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
