go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there's paper in my vomit.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize