I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
