so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
