there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
