mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
