That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
