There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my liver is dry heaving
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
