Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
