There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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