Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
