her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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