The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize