i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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