Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
