This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize