I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
