Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
