Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize