He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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