I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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