I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
