conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
