love makes seman taste better
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
