and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
