So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
