her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
