guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
