Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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