Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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