i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
