No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
