What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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