HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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