If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
