Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
