She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
