yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
well you can't waste a boner
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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