We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
