I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
