Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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