Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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