i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
