you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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