Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
