WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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