I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize