8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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