Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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