Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
