Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize