Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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