Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
