my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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