I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
