I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i drank out of a bidet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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