Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize